My dad is a sucker and stepmom does meth?

im 16. my stepmom beat me up & does meth. my dad is an ******** and does nothing. i have not since him since december 19th. my dad a laywer & got me nothing for easter or christmas. my stepmom is crazy & calls me the "C" word. i chose to never see my dad again after what they did. i hold grudges. its been 120 days. i cry for my dad at night, but i will never go see him or her again. how can i get over the grief? is my dad hurting? does he miss me? i left him nasty voicemails swearing at him. im just really hurt. the pain is too much. i wanna die