How do I get my obnoxious roomie to get OUT OF THE APARTMENT?

Talk with her and tell her you'd like a little more peace at home. Tell her nicely that you're the kind of person who likes a little more space at home now and then and a little quiet. Mention how she could help by taking some of her calls in her room and giving you some private time now and then. Sharing an apartment means you should be respectful to live in a manner that does not disturb or annoy each other. Let her know you understand she has a right to be in the living room, but it's good to give each other space and respect. Little things can be done like taking turns some nights using the living room, having a meal out somewhere else or in the bedroom... She really should take her phone calls in her room if she's being loud or on it for a long time. (I hope you tell her that). Didn't you lay out any ground rules?? I think you should tell her that you would like at least one day a week when she can give you a few hours to yourself if you need it. It's not good to be up each other's @ss and a compromise needs to be established. There's no reason why she shouldn't give you some space and take turns giving up the living room. Gilmore Girls is a dumb show anyway. Worse comes to worse, bring in a drum set and do things to make her choose to go to her room or move out! Invite over obnoxious people or something. I'm sure there's a way to manipulate her out of your space if she won't do it willingly.