Mid 40's - trying to lose weight - what to do?

I have alot of stress because of work and having 40 kids, plus the bills to pay. Food is more like a stress reliever you could call it. I know alot of people have this problem. Im not overweight, but im not personally happy with the way I look. I did have 4 kids, so theres still a little pouch from that. Also im not happy with my thighs and upper arms. Is there anything you could say or tell me that helps alot? I tried alli and things like that but going to the bathroom all the time wasnt working out for me. Anyt exercises or words of advice?