Should I be mad at him or vice versa?

I just got out of hospital for a hysterectomy this day. His youngest daughter has decided that she wants to live with us. I'm excited. We have 2 extra rooms that she can move into. 1 room is already set up for a girl walls are pink and purple and has a huge closet. The other room does not have a closet. She doesn't want either of these rooms and tells hubby that she will only come if we change our rec room which has my sofas and big screen tv into her room. If we don't change this room into her new bedroom then she will not come. I told my husband no. She has 2 nice rooms to choose from. Instead of telling her no to choose from one of the other rooms he tells her that I said no and gave the phone to me. There were a few reasons I didn't want her to have this room. 1) it is set up like a family room all my stuff is already there and 2) it's the only room in the house that our phones get reception. After she spoke with me she got back on the phone with her dad and told that if there were going to be 'issues' like this all the time then she didn't want to come live with us after all. Then her mother my husbands ex who is always getting into our business gets on the phone and tells him that he needs to stop taking my side over everyone else's and do something for the sake of his daughter. Instead of telling her to shut her mouth and keep out of it, it tells her that I am ok with this and calms her down. I am SICK and TIRED of being the one that is walked all over. Now his daughter is moving in and taking over the rec room and leaving the other 2 empty rooms empty. All because she doesn't like carpet. I could see how I would be being unreasonable if the other rooms weren't nice. But, as I mentioned the one room is very nice with a nice closet and already set up for a girl. This is basically our living area! It's where we spend all of our time. But, the main reason I am very upset is that his ex wife always gets us into fights and he allows it. Now remember I just got out of the hospital from a hysterectomy. I was still in the hospital getting ready to get out when he told me that his daughter wanted that room and I told him no. He was there to pick me up but when I told him no he LEFT me in the hospital room and they waited and waited for him to return and finally one of the nurses took me out to his car. Then when we get home he is pissed about the room, sides with his ex, and then leaves me to fend for myself, never coming to check on me once to see if I was ok for that night or the next day. Please tell me if I am being too touchy or if this sounds really messed up to you too. Please excuse typos as I am on meds for my surgery.