I was molested by my uncle and im confused!!! Is really my fault?

Hi i was molested by my uncle when i was 11 he was 28. He had came from El Salvador and he was staying with my family. My mom was working and my dad was too. I was helping my uncle with his english and then i told him that i wanted to play with him and we started to play. It's all very confusing to me but i remember telling him to pretend like he was going to attack me ( i guess like karate because i had taken karate when i was younger) We started to play and i voluntarily fell to the ground and he was bending down and on top of me and he grabbed me down there but over my pajamas and i just looked at him shocked and i grabbed a stick and hit him not too hard though then i ran to his room and locked myself in there and then it gets confusing cuz this memory mixes up with other memories, well he was telling me to open the door and i did and then i dont remember what happened but all i remember is that he is pulling my pants down and i back up against the wall trying to keep them up but he wasnt pulling them down hard he was playing with me like that and then after that i started falling down and he starts climbing up on me and i can still remember his face he looked like he was horny and i grabbed his shoulders to push him down and then i got up and kicked him on his chin with knee and i went running out and he followed me trying to grap me by my hips and that's when my dad comes down the stairs and catches us. For some reason i feel confused because i dont feel like it is my fault what happened but when i remember it it is my fault the events that happened seem like its my fault like for ex: when i fell down he didnt make me fall i did it on my own will and when i opened the door i did it because im not sure cuz then it gets all mixed up( but i just remember that when im in his room my sister comes out of her room and she pes by and i push him off so that my sister wouldnt see him on top of me then she goes back in her room and i stay with him and thats when he starts pulling my pants down. I feel like it's my fault because that's how i remember it- being my fault. I guess my mom made it feel that way too because she said that i wasnt suppose to be playing with older men. Well this is what happened after that happened- i told my mom she talked to him and my dad kicked him out. I told social services when i was in 8th grade so it's already been reported. I know it's not my fault but when i remember it, it feels like it's my fault and my mind starts playing tricks on me like it wants me to believe its my fault! help i am seeing a therapist for this its just that i just wanted to get some advice on this like was it really my fault? cuz some times i start thinking that i actually wanted it and when it finally happens i dont want it (im 16) now